Isn't it interesting how many various meanings there are for words that we use each day, with ourselves and with others?
For example, the word 'should', is often used as a way for someone to impart a suggestion with the option that you can choose to take this suggestion or discard it.
However, 'should' often gets over used and thus interpreted as an order or command without choice involved. This can develop into an internal dialogue of questioning your choices and decisions - Should I do this? Should I not do this?
As a coach I often see how this internal dialogue and questioning with clients, has evolved into indecisiveness and a feeling of pressure to make the 'right' decision. All this from a simple word.
So if you were to replace this word, what would be the best one to use to help you out of this situation? How can you change your thinking by simply changing a single word? How can you communicate and get input without resorting to 'should' conversations? How can you develop a self talk with words that don't imply pressure?
Lots of questions above I realise. One possible alternative to 'should' is the word 'could'. It provides you with choice and options. It also provides you with a chance to engage with reality - 'I could do something about that, or I could leave it as it is which is what I am currently doing.'
This can then offer you the chance to take action or even enquire further into your situation. 'I could act now so that it isn't left as it is'. Even the question 'What could you act on?' from the above communication with yourself, is a more open form of enquiry which can assist you to find solutions for change at a pace that suits you. No pressure, just possible solutions and a chance to change your thinking.
