Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Words, words, words...choosing them wisely for July

During the summer, when you manage to get a half decent one that is, you normally take time to chillout, relax and enjoy the outdoors and barbeques. The last thing on your mind will be any of the 'to do' things on your list for this year.
However, this is a great chance for you to sneak in some new habits to help you on your way to achieving your goals.
Consider the following:
What is your self talk like?
What kind of expressions or words do you use most often?
When is the last time you stopped to hear what you were actually saying to yourself..or to others?

Treating ourselves with respect and kindness is sometimes not that easy...sure it comes quite naturally when others need it from us. When it comes to ourselves however we tend to fall down and get quite critical.
This month is a chance to examine your self talk and change it. If your thoughts lean towards the negative then lets get started on stopping that trend.

First step - watch out for the following pressure words - always, should, never - they put pressure on yourself and sound hard and can be off putting. You might be saying them to others, you might be hearing it a lot from others. These pressure words can be replaced with - sometimes, occassionally - and instantly release the pressure attached to them.
E.G - Oh I should really lose weight, I should be earning more, I should be an astronaut(okay so the last one was just to highlight a point!).


Second step - Write down all the things you think you 'should' be either doing or being... even write down the ones that other people think you 'should' be doing or being..(if the list gets long just keep going with it!)

Third step - Once you've finished writing pick out your top 5 common 'should' statements.
How do you feel reading each sentence?
Are you inspired or pressured to do something about it?

Fourth step - replace each of the shoulds in each sentence with 'sometimes' or 'occassionally'.
How do you feel reading each sentence now?
What has changed?

Do this as many times as you like - the more often you stop to consider your thoughts and self talk, the easier it becomes at recognising those destructive and negative words and sentences...and for those that have an external source for the sentences, i.e. other people, maybe July is the time to rethink how you want them to treat you in the future?
Start with number one first - when you improve your own self talk the ripple effect will astound you and your goals become easier as you go on.

REMEMBER! - all of these changes take time, you've established a life time of habits that are possibly outdated for you. No beating yourself up! Change requires kindness and patience and this is long lasting...so enjoy the process and the journey!

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