Friday, July 8, 2011

Gremlins


Hmmm...the word gremlin conjures up an image of soft fluffy 'Gizmo' type beings who tend to cause mischief but are all warm and fuzzy. The thing about gremlins, from a coaching perspective, is that they come in all shape,sizes and forms, and can either stand out in full monster form or work side by side with you pretending to be helpful.
Over the years clients have revealed so many types it can honestly be said they're completely unique to the person. What really helps though is being able to acknowledge that you have a gremlin, and that naming it can be the first step to helping you deal with it.
I'm not sure you can ever tame a gremlin, but you can sure keep it in check. Personally however, I've recently encountered a new form of gremlin. It's the one that knows you so well, that it isn't even visible to you most of the time. It's subtle, pretends to be friendly and helpful but has an extremely well thought out long range plan involving self sabbotage.
I didn't even know there was a gremlin at work until a long conversation with a friend revealed it! It was the subtle approach to this sabbotage plan that really shocked me and made me realise it was a gremlin in another disguise. It was working from a long distance range of about 4 weeks, allowing for unrealistic goals to be set so that the continuous fail would lead to just throwing the towel in and quitting under the guise that I had given it my best shot.
It woke me up, thats for sure, and it put me on alert as upping the game is the gremlins next form of subtle attack! I could at least take charge again, for now, until the next move could be made by the gremlin.
At this point I would like to make people aware that even though the gremlin is talked about as a separate entity, the reality is that you are simply fighting with an aspect of yourself. Externalising this into a form known as the gremlin can assist with removing the power attached to that aspect of you.

So how do you know when your gremlin is present, especially when it doesn't follow normal patterns?
Maybe keep some questions about to double check whether your gremlin is out of the bag. If you're doing something new, moving out of your comfort zone, taking a new approach to living or simply wanting to change, answer the questions when you find yourself encountering even a slight amount of resistance or indifference:
What type of tone of voice are you hearing?
What is important to you right now?
What is happening when you move to take action on that important thing in your life?
What phrases are recurring in your language to prevent you from taking action?


The tone of voice is a good one to note, simply because it can be a gently dismissive tone, one that makes little of what you are about to do or change. Getting focused on what is important to you, reconnects you to your higher self and the good energy in relation to what you are about to do. Distractions from that or changing the focus will have a different tone in comparison.
When you are about to take action to change, the resistance can become stronger, the questions beginning with 'why...' can come into play and all of a sudden your internal dialogue can switch in the most subtle of ways. Wake up to it, become more conscious of it. Finally, the phrases that revert to doubting your ability, your strengths and aim to get you to do nothing, are good little tell tale signs.

SO WHAT TO DO?...
If you click on the image you will see what appears to be a particularly ugly gremlin in the middle of a page! What is brilliant about this image however, is the mindmap on the process of how to notice the gremlin and how to explore ways of moving on from it. Becoming aware of it is the first step to making it take a back seat!
Go through the mindmap and then take out a sheet of paper and do your own. Map down everything, from the tell tale questions and doubts to the emotions that creep in and then write down what you'd like to do to move through it. It's an excellent exercise, worth taking the time out to do and as I mentioned, it really helps you to discover all the ugly faces your gremlin puts forward to set you up for a fall! Most importantly, accept that it's all part of the journey and avoid the harsh 'I should've known!!' statements on yourself. Just accept, adjust, learn and move on. :)

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